The Bell Tower

"If government were a toaster, I'd demand a refund"
May
02

Ha, ha

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Giggle! “However, Obama surprised the crowd by joking about his birth certificate–a popular topic among “birthers” who wrongly believe he was born in Kenya–and Arizona’s controversial new immigration law.” It’s good to see the President has a sense of humor but can the journalists covering it be any more sappy? They’re like a crowd of 12 year ... [More]


May
02

Partisanship

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“The ruling President, acting for what he supposed to be the best interests of the country, by one of his last acts of power, deliberately intended to perpetuate the principles of his administration, placed at the head of the judiciary, for life, a man as obnoxious to Jefferson as the bitterest New England Calvinist could have been; for he belonged to that class of conservative Virginians wh... [More]


May
01

Opinionism

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Another candidate “Greene made hundreds of millions of dollars betting against the subprime real estate market, which means he became a billionaire off the economic collapse that has devastated Florida.” Thanks for the editorial comments. Good to see the Miami Herald reporters know how to stick to the facts. Look, I’ve got no use for this Greene guy. He’s an opportunist,... [More]


Apr
15

We're Not Amused

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Squawk! "Nonpartisan congressional budget analysts say the law is fully paid for. Its mix of Medicare cuts and tax increases, falling mainly on upper-income earners, would actually reduce the federal deficit. And people covered by large employers may even see a dip in their premiums." Another AP article that sounds like it was written by Nancy Pelosi's staff. By "nonpartisan congressional budget ... [More]


Apr
12

Opportunism

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For the love of God “Peanuts may not be reasonably necessary for air travel, but the ability to carry a bag onto a flight is,” Schumer wrote, warning he would act if Treasury does not find a remedy “in the coming months.” You may find this surprising but Schumer is up for re-election in 2010. Imagine that. It’s always the same story with this guy. Belligerent, flam... [More]


Apr
11

Devastating News

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I regret to inform my readers that something terrible happened yesterday. Tiger Woods cursed on the golf course. Clearly this means he’s not sorry for cheating on his wife. Sorry to let everyone down with this horrible news. Please continue to watch this space for more gripping updates.


Apr
06

Bias

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Grotesque “Proponents of reducing immigration believe that allowing illegal immigrants access to health care is an incentive for them to come, and an unfair tax burden on Americans.” That is a blatant mischaracterization. Only whackos and nut jobs are for “reducing immigration.” Immigration is a cornerstone of America’s greatness and it should by all means continue ... [More]


Mar
31

Arne Duncan

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To quickly expand on the previous post, permit me an analogy to illustrate the absurdity of Arne Duncan’s education program: A rich man walks into a homeless shelter with a 20 pound turkey and announces that the homeless person who performs the most amusing trick will be awarded the turkey. The states are so strapped for cash right now, they will do just about anything to make a buck. Ent... [More]


Mar
31

Race to the Bottom

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Unsightly “‘We received many strong proposals from states all across America, but two applications stood out above all others: Delaware and Tennessee,’ Duncan said in announcing the winners. ‘Both states have statewide buy-in for comprehensive plans to reform their schools. They have written new laws to support their policies. And they have demonstrated the courage, capacit... [More]


Mar
28

Get a Job

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My Body My Campus “It showed we are ready to stop at nothing to get justice”, said student Julia Shindel. So this is what students call justice in the modern age. Instead of sitting around watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force and drinking their bong water all day, they actually have to get in the car and drive across the street to buy rubbers before they sleep with their over-fed girlfriends. The hor... [More]