The Bell Tower

"If government were a toaster, I'd demand a refund"
Oct
31

Soylent Green

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You think I’m kidding about eating Thomas Friedman.  Think of the world’s problems that could be solved if we simply adopted the strategy of eating the old, the infirm, the incarcerated and the homeless: Social Security crisis:  solved Depletion of natural resources and food sources:  solved Global Warming:  solved Health Care crisis:  solved Prison overpopulation:  solved Earth overpo... [More]


Oct
29

Eat The Rich. Literally.

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The Sky is Falling “New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman, for example, has made no secret of his envy for China’s ability to Get Things Done. In 2005, he wrote: ’I cannot help but feel a tinge of jealousy at China’s ability to be serious about its problems and actually do things that are tough and require taking things away from people.’ Last month, he lamented that the GOP’s... [More]


Oct
29

Hilarity Ensues…

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Sure… “Democrats issued a statement saying their 1,990-page measure ‘lowers costs for every patient’ and would not add to federal deficits.” When was the last time 2,000 pages of Congressional legislation lowered the cost of anything? The last time Congress told us they were doing what was right and necessary despite strong public opposition, they passed TARP. That... [More]


Oct
28

Hey Barack!

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Hyperbole “Going forward, Obama promised, people will be protected from violence based on ‘what they look like, who they love, how they pray or why they are.’” But not based on what foods they eat or what cars they drive? It’s OK to beat someone up for those reasons then? Here’s an idea: how about protecting people form violence period? Do we really need to ... [More]


Oct
24

Head Like a Hole

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Arrogance “Over a 10-day period in July 2003, Slahi was questioned by an interrogator called ‘Mr. X’ while being ‘exposed to variable lighting patterns’ and repeated playing of a song called ‘Let the Bodies Hit the Floor’ by the band Drowning Pool, according to the committee’s report.” Really? Did we also send them to bed without dinner, take ... [More]


Oct
15

Diversity

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Ironic “This reflects where we’re moving in an ethical nature,” said Dan Lebowitz, executive director of the Center for Sports and Society at Northeastern University. “The league has 78 percent African-American players,” Lebowitz said. “Do you bring in someone who has made racist statements to own a team that’s largely made up of players the owner has made... [More]


Roger Goodell “I’ve said many times before, we’re all held to a high standard here.” You mean the beat your wife, rob the local convenience store, run over innocent pedestrians while driving drunk, electrocute the family dog, kill your ex-wife and her boyfriend, stomp on a player’s head, shoot up steroids and cocaine but don’t piss off Al Sharpton standard? Was... [More]


Oct
05

Why?

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YAWN “If they don’t want to believe carbon dating done by some of the world’s best laboratories they certainly won’t believe me,” he said. How amusing. For his next trick, he’s going to scientifically demonstrate that God is invisible. The only accomplishment here is to placate the weak and unstable egos of uncertain atheists. Faith does not require scientif... [More]


Oct
02

Jesus Swims

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Barack Obama wants desperately to be loved. There has never been any doubt of this for anyone who has watched him for even five minutes. It is said that all politicians crave such love and perhaps that is so but it’s hard to remember an American president ever pursuing it more earnestly than this one. On the other hand, it’s hard to imagine a recent American president less concerned... [More]


Oct
02

News Copy Error

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Oops “Chicago’s elimination was one of the most shocking defeats in IOC voting history. It had long been seen as a front-runner and got the highest possible level of support — from President Barack Obama himself.” You forgot to capitalize the “H” there John…