You think I’m kidding about eating Thomas Friedman.  Think of the world’s problems that could be solved if we simply adopted the strategy of eating the old, the infirm, the incarcerated and the homeless:

Social Security crisis:  solved

Depletion of natural resources and food sources:  solved

Global Warming:  solved

Health Care crisis:  solved

Prison overpopulation:  solved

Earth overpopulation:  solved

Homeless problem:  solved

Energy crisis:  solved

Guantanamo Bay problem:  solved

Unemployment:  solved

Drug problem:  solved

If you really think we’re headed for tidal waves, earthquakes, hurricanes and other natural disasters because there are too many human beings causing too much waste, this is not only the best solution but the only one.  Most of the stupid cap and trade ideas and other carbon reducing plans out there would have minimal to no effect on the global temperature in the next hundred years.  The planet will remain on a collision course with catastrophe and indeed correct the problem for us.  Eliminating huge swaths of the population  – especially the non-contributing swaths – on the other hand would be far, far more effective.   Why should we leave future generations to suffer when we can easily and painlessly rid our world of excess population now?

And what more natural solution could the environmentalists possibly introduce?  What’s more natural than consuming the old and the infirm?  This is precisely how our sacred Mother Earth solves health care problems in nature.  Did you imagine sharks and lions were consuming the healthy?  If we’re so enamored with the natural order of things, we should be emulating it – eliminating waste the natural way.  Call it the organic solution.