“Tiger has to take ownership of what he has done. He must get his personal life in order. I think that’s what he’s trying to do. And when he comes back he has to show some humility to the public,” Tom Watson said before the Dubai Desert Classic earlier this month.

“I would come out and I would do an interview with somebody and say, ‘You know what? I screwed up. And I admit it. I am going to try to change. I am trying to change. I want my wife and family back,’ ” Watson said.

Take ownership of what he’s done?  What the hell does that mean?  How can he disown it?  He did it, it’s his behavior.  The only person he owes an apology to is his wife and we don’t know the whole story.  Maybe she’s a raging bitch and he cheated because he couldn’t stand her.  Maybe she cheated on him too.  Maybe she doesn’t deserve an apology.  How the hell do we know?

The only reason Tiger has to apologize to anyone is money.  He wants to get his sponsorships back so he has to make it look like he’s sorry for doing something that – were he truly sorry for it – he wouldn’t have done in the first place.  And he has to please the executives who run the sport he dominates so they will allow him back to play.

Fans shouldn’t be fooled.  Tiger doesn’t care about them.  Nor should it matter what his opinion of them is.  People don’t watch golf because the guys hitting the ball give a damn about viewers.  They watch because these people play it better than anyone else.  Tiger Woods can sleep with two elephants, an Emu and a platypus.  When he wakes up in the morning, he still hits a golf ball better than every other human being on earth.  Fans want to see that.

To hell with all this judgment and hypocrisy – as if all these other golfers and corporate executives aren’t doing the same damned thing in their own bedrooms.  This false veneer of ethics is born and bred by people who seek to impose their will on the rest of society.  It’s arrogance cloaked in morality. I’m certainly not saying he was right to cheat on his wife.  I’m saying we don’t know the whole story, it’s none of our business in the first place and whatever the facts are, they won’t be changed with a BS interview filled with false contrition and hypocrisy.

If Tiger wants respect from the rank and file, he should come out with 5 o’clock shadow, a wife beater and a can of Pabst, tell the world to kiss his ass and then go win the next 10 tournaments in a row.  When are we going to stop pretending that the lives of these various public figures have any impact on our own beyond the entertainment they provide when they perform?  It’s an insult to our intelligence.