"Thus has freedom of the press finally died." - Adam Cohen, Lawyers for Good Government

"This disgraceful and cowardly act will be closely watched by the world's authoritarian regimes" - Ken Dilanian, NBC News

"This is a moment for any Republican who says they believe in the Constitution to stand up." - Dan Rather

"This unprecedented decision is a threat to our democracy..." - CNN

"That's the sort of thing that happens in Iran not America. I shudder to think what could be next." - Jason Rezaian, The Washington Post

Jefferson, Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt... the very granite faces of the American ideal itself looked across the mists of time and history and hung their heads in shame and embarrassment at this Trumpian era of excess and tragedy; for who among us dare not be outraged at the tragic transgression of revoking Jim Acosta's press pass?

In case you missed it, all of these Pecksniffian hysterics are over a five second incident at a presidential press briefing where Jim Acosta tried to ask a follow up question, the President tried to move to the next question, a young female intern in charge of the microphone tried to take it from Acosta and he refused to give it up. After the conference, the president revoked Acosta's presidential press conference credentials. That is the incident prompting serious people to finally declare the end of American democracy.

Five observations:

1. Jim Acosta acted like a rude and petty jerk.

2. Jim Acosta did not assault anyone.

3. Jim Acosta was not assaulted by anyone.

4. Donald Trump revoking Acosta's press pass over this stupid alteracation was a pathetic overreaction far beneath the office he occupies.

5. The entire beltway rat king has subsequently lost its collective mind.

Each side has now retreated to their respective tents and are breaking down the 5 second video of this incident like John Madden trying to figure out if the receiver got two feet in bounds. Trumpians are demanding Acosta resign in disgrace and alleging that he assaulted a young woman, media types are accusing Trump of silencing Acosta and bemoaning the collapse of the republic and democracy itself. And the White House!

Well... The White House has actually shared a doctored video of this imbecilic exchange published by a website that once declared the existence of a secret race of underground lizard people controlling the thoughts of world leaders. Read that last sentence again.

Imagine the nerve of establishment types sanctimoniously demanding that Americans who don't vote are shirking their civic responsibility when every day on Twitter makes us feel like the naval officer finding an exhausted Ralph staring up at us from the dirt of a burning island of 12 year old savages. America is indeed suffering from a Constitutional crisis. The crisis is that none of the people in power appear to have read the damned thing.

JT Callender, another jerk who once spent a year in jail because he said bad things about the Adams administration would undoubtedly find Acostagate amusing. A number of American journalists were jailed thanks to the Alien and Sedition Acts and the whole affair helped usher Thomas Jefferson into the White House in 1800. This was all very ironic given that Jefferson was behind the Callender smears in the first place and when Callender showed up at the White House looking for a post office gig as payment, Jefferson said "JT who again?" A disillusioned Callender trained his sights back at Jefferson and broke the Sally Hemings story that every good social justice warrior loves to repeat today. This is also the same era, by the way, that featured the third Vice President of the United States shooting and killing the first Secreatry of the US Treasury because he said bad things about him at a dinner party.

So, it's not like the crazy isn't running through America's DNA. We've been this way for a very long time. Even so, Donald Trump is an exceptional case. In that same press conference this week, he rudely interrupted a black, female journalist and called her a racist simply because she asked him a question about race. We learned long ago that asking the president not to throw his cheerios at the television every time someone turns off his cartoons is far too great a task for him. It is perfectly reasonable for left and right alike to fear that someday, a cheerio is going to hit the chin of an equally unhinged lunatic with his finger on the nuclear button.

It is also true that this president has glorified the assault of a journalist by an elected official like Randy Savage recounting the previous night's pay per view. He has declared the press The Enemy of the People as if he were Torquemada denouncing the infidels. A president who has a Twitter tantrum every time a late night comedian jokes about him suddenly couldn't find his tongue when the time came to condemn the death and dismemberment of another journalist at the hands of an American ally. Even if he is correct when he essentialy complains that much of the media cover him like a Jets fans covering the Patriots, this president deserves all the condemnation he gets for behaving like a banana republic dictator every time someone asks him a difficult question.

Still, the reaction of far too many of Trump's critics is to conduct themselves exactly like or even worse than Trump himself. Witness the robe rending at the begining of this article. The end of free press! America is just like the holocaust denying, civilian slaughtering, terrorist sponsoring, press censoring authoritarian state of Iran! Our democracy is threatened! Our constitution is in crisis! All because Jim Acosta lost his stupid press pass. Trump is a blowhard fool, he is not Adolf Hitler. Is it too much to ask for the media to respond like the adults in the room rather than get into a crayon fight with the president every time he loses his cool?

It is no wonder Americans are more likely to trust their five year old driving to the grocery store in a Sherman tank than they are to trust news stories coming out of CNN or Fox. It's why we are disgusted with government. It's one thing for a few Twitter trolls and mom's basement Nazis to act like jerks online. But when that childish behavior bleeds into the halls of power and Americans find themselves unable to the tell difference between Supreme Court hearings and an episode of the People's Court, it should be unsurprising to find them disillusioned, disgusted and apathetic when it comes to government.